Before I go on a long, long, LONG, rampage about last nights “How I Met Your Mother” series finale, there will be plenty of SPOILERS so stop reading now (and probably get off the internet while you’re at it) if you don’t want to hear all about it.
As a fan, I’ve been an interesting one. I started watching the show in 2005 at 14 years old. In the first two seasons, I loved Robin and Ted and wished that Robin would be the mother. I remember bouncing around the upstairs hallway jabbering on and on about if the show played their cards right, they could be the next “Friends”. Fast forward to season 5 – oh wait. Actually. I have a much better way to write this whole thing. I’ll write it like that awful, awful, finale, jumping from year to year, going through the highs and mostly the lows, and then the earth shattering finish.
September 2005 (Future self narrating to my pet rabbit…I’m 14 years old in the flashback)
Narrator says: “Willow, I’m going to tell you the story of how I started watching How I Met Your Mother. My father had turned the TV on to this new show and I came downstairs and decided to watch it with him. It was a charming story about a young man on the journey to meet his wife and this girl he met along the way, later known as Aunt Robin.”
May 2006 (15 years old)
15 year old self bouncing around the upstairs hallway says: “Robin and Ted ended up together!!! Awwwww!!! I wish that she’s the mother!! But oh my god this show is soooo good. I think it could become the next Friends if they do a good enough job!”
May 2007 (16 years old)
16 year old self: “Aww man! They broke up Robin and Ted. I loved them together. Maybe they’ll get back together? Or maybe we’ll finally meet the mother soon?”
Narrator says: “Ha! Yeah right. Willow, this story is sure to start making you thump soon. You know how Robin and Ted broke up because she wanted her own adventures in life and that wouldn’t work for him? Yeah. Just wait until you hear how the show ends!”
September 2008 (17 years old)
Narrator says: “It’s now been a whole season since Robin and Ted were a couple. As a fan, I had been starting to move on…especially because Barney is now hopelessly in love with Robin.”
Willow lies on the rug, happily grinding her teeth.
May 2009 (18 years old)
18 year old self: “YAY! Barney and Robin finally kissed! Cutest couple ever!! I’m so over Robin and Ted.”
November 2009 (18 years old)
Narrator says: “In the fall of 2009, the show started to lose its luster. The writing became sloppy and the writers decided to break up Barney and Robin in a horrible, out of the blue, way. It was clear they just wanted Barney to go back to the way he was.”
Willow starts to get up from the rug, cleaning herself, incredibly bored with my story. After all, I haven’t mentioned James Van Der Beek once (Dawson’s Creek is her favorite show).
18 year old self talks to my sister: “That was a horrible episode. They broke up our favorite couple. I’m never watching this show again.”
May 2013 (22 years old)
Narrator says: “After the Barney and Robin break up, I had stopped watching the show. I wasn’t enjoying the episodes leading up to that moment at all. However, as the final season approached, I decided to watch the final episode of Season 8. The one where the mother was introduced.”
22 year old self: “::tears:: They finally are showing the mother! ::squeal:: I can’t wait to see them fall in love. I’ll have to watch next season.”
September 2013 (22 years old)
Narrator says: “September arrived and I decided to watch the final season. After all, I’d been curious since I was 14 years old about who the mother is. I knew she had to be amazing and perfect for Ted. After all, every fan had been waiting years to see this happen.”
Willow begins to sprawl out again in a blissful state.
October 2013 (22 years old)
Narrator: “In October, I was sick. Very sick. I had gotten ill from a food poisoning incident that left me unable to eat most food for over the next three months. After watching a few episodes of the current season, I decided to turn on Netflix and watch the seasons I had missed over the years. At 23 years old, I ended up really enjoying it. And, it was clear to me that the writers finally realized that the characters had to grow up and move on. Barney had fallen in love with other women, making him grow into a man that could marry the love of his life, Robin. Ted had been slowly learning about letting go…”
March 24, 2014 (23 years old)
Narrator: “It was March 24th of 2014 and Barney and Robin had gotten married. All was right in the world. Ted finally realized it was time to move on from Robin and that he was in fact, no longer in love with her. As a fan, I was ecstatic. Ted and Robin hadn’t been an item since the 2nd season and all of these years, he’s been learning to move on from her. The mother had been introduced throughout the season and all I had hoped for was true. She was perfect for Ted.”
Willow happily jumps up, and does a binky in the air.
March 31, 2014 (Last night)
Actual me is shown (who’s voice is strangely the same as growing up me, but not narrator me): “Willow, you know how I told you this was the story of how I started watching How I Met Your Mother? Well, it’s not. It’s actually the story of How I Almost Threw My TV Out the Window Last Night. There were so many things wrong with that finale, I can’t even describe my anger. First of all, within five minutes, after spending an ENTIRE year focusing on Barney and Robin’s wedding, Barney and Robin were divorced. Not only were they divorced, they were divorced because she was too busy working to make time for their relationship.”
Willow begins to thump.
“Then, if things couldn’t get any worse, Barney starts reverting to his old ways. He’s no longer the man he had become because apparently, people can’t change.”
Willow thumps louder.
“They did try to solve that part by having Barney have a baby; it was a baby, of course, with a mother that we never saw. Still, it was a touching scene.”
Willow sits still for a moment, unsure of if there’s danger ahead still or not.
“Then, comes the travesty of all travesties. Ted rushes through the part of the story where he meets the mother. Then, she’s very ill and we can assume she died.”
Willow thumps three times in an angry rage.
“Oh, that’s not the worst of it Willow. They then, flash forward to the kids. The kids announce that Ted has been telling this whole story because he wants to get back together with busy as a beaver Aunt Robin who has had no time to see her friends in the past 10 years…The kids are of course ecstatic. They love Aunt Robin! Even though she distanced herself from the group for nearly a decade, they know exactly who she is and call her Aunt Robin. Because yeah, that’s realistic.”
Willow’s thumping gets louder and louder. I begin to wonder if there’s a cat outside because she’s getting so angry.
“Then, the show ends exactly how I always dreamed it would end… NOT. Ted runs after Aunt Robin with the blue french horn, ready to make another go at their failed relationship. I was so f&?!ing angry I thought I was going to rip the TV off the wall and throw it through the window.”
Willow runs under the couch thumping up a storm until I make the story stop.
Present Day
I woke up this morning knowing one thing, this finale was possibly worse than the Dexter finale. Possibly. I said possibly. Not definitely.
For so many reasons, this finale was done wrong. First of all, Ted and Robin hadn’t been a couple in so many years that honestly, most fans didn’t care about them anymore. The Ross and Rachel saga of the show ended up being Barney and Robin. They had to grow up separately to find their way back to each other, all while knowing they still loved each other.
In the end, the entire last season was about Ted moving on. It was about him realizing that Robin wasn’t the girl for him and that he was going to find love with someone else. After all, how could he ever meet the mother if he was still hung up on Robin?
But wait! He’s still hung up on Robin. His wife conveniently died and now he wants his kids permission to date the real love of his life, whose last marriage failed for the same reason their relationship failed all of those years ago. She’s too busy for a relationship. Yeah. This will end well.
I don’t understand why writers and creators feel the need to make their series finales suck? Wrap things up, make the fans happy. We watched the show for years and we deserve a proper and satisfying ending. Lumberjacks, dying mothers, and the show actually all took place in the afterlife are NOT proper endings. Characters moving on, finding their true loves, and making the fans happy, thats how a show should end.
Before I wrap up, because honestly, I could ramble all day about how much I hated this episode…here’s my list of My Top 5 Best Series Finales and Worst Series Finales:
