Life in Stepping Stones

It’s almost that time of year again when the family newsletters roll in, and can I just say, I am beyond curious what they’re going to say this year. Is this the year families finally tell the truth their year sucked, is this the year the newsletters just don’t even exist, or is this the year that its even more obvious that they are just full of it?

Last year, I had the pleasure of writing my own honest 2019 Unfiltered Newsletter right here on my blog. And it was fun. So I felt I had no choice but to do it all again this year! Plus, I know plenty of you are wondering how to write your own, so I followed it up with some tips too! Without further ado, my 2020 Family Newsletter…

Dear Family and Friends,

When this year began, I knew that it was going to be OUR year. I remember specifically, vividly, on New Years, feeling that all of the pain of 2019 was gone and 2020 was going to be near perfection. Our beautiful baby girl was on the way, our son would be in preschool 4-5 days a week later in the year, my husband had two fantastic jobs that were heading towards some great bonuses when sales reached numbers well within reach, and he was going to be catering Disney’s party for the release of Mulan in a couple of months. As you clearly can assume, all of these things 100% happened as the year progressed.

The year kicked off to a great start and in February, we took our family babymoon to Disneyland. As we were driving down, I came down with a pesky sore throat an hour into the drive. I shrugged it off. My son strangely had symptoms too a day later, but they were vastly different from mine. Strange. Anyways, we rested, felt better after a couple of days, then had some fun, and then about half a week later I felt like death, trying to catch my breath (figured it was the baby in my belly!), coughing all the time, and I was utterly exhausted. I told people it was the strangest cold I’d ever had, and my son’s pesky cough took weeks and weeks to go away…but hey, its not like a super infectious disease that has 5,000 different types of symptoms between people exists, right? So obviously, it was 100% just a cold and I haven’t wondered all year long if it maybe was something else that just hadn’t supposedly made it’s way to the USA yet.

In March, I got my first promotion of the year and I really got to explore the full title of being a stay-at-home mom. In fact, I heard that being a stay-at-home mom has become the most popular and sought after career of 2020. Millions of new employees joined their local offices! Dad’s too! I’ve been one for years, but this is the first year the term was brought to new levels of accuracy. Stay-at-home. Mom. Some could say I’ve become a bit of a workaholic because I swear I’ve never left the office.

At the beginning of April, we threw a Baby Shower with cupcakes baked for 14 imaginary people. All of the guests (my husband, my son, me, and the baby in my belly) gobbled down the cupcakes and it was really a blast. It made it even more fun because for the party’s main activity, I got to do a multiple times a day scientific experiment on how cupcakes affected my sugar levels. Talk about a wild never before done, baby shower activity! I even got to share the results with my doctor. She took it a little far though and decided she’d “pass” or “fail” me when I showed them to her. I passed, thankfully. Woohoo!

In late April, I visited this very niche, and very local, spa for a massage. The masseuse did a fantastic job and it was overall a great experience… (His assistant left much to be desired though. He kept barging in the room, surrounding my head with stuffed animals, and asking me for snacks. At one point, he even grabbed my hair and tried to help massage my head. During the bath portion, he barged in again, grabbed my phone, and started taking pictures of me too! He clearly lacked training and for some reason, even as the client, I was still expected to fix him a snack later. Go figure.)

In May, we went on a trip to an amazing local sand dune! The location was so close it almost felt like it was in our own backyard. Our son had a blast sliding down the dune, making a chair out of the sand, and he even took his sand toys along for some extra fun! We had such a great time, we decided to make the trek and wheel the entire dune into our actual backyard (from the driveway) for our very own sandpit.

In June, I took this fantastic three day vacation with my husband to a great bed and breakfast location. It was a spur of the moment trip, but one that my body was telling me I definitely needed. He slept on the couch (B&B rules I guess!), and I got a couple of beds to switch between! He had to walk and carry ALL of the bags, while I got to go on a wonderful ride to our room. I even got rides assisting me from the bed to the bathroom! Talk about service. Everyone around us wore masks, so it felt extremely safe, especially since they constantly cleaned and sanitized everything. Due to the pandemic, nobody could come and disturb us, which, what more could you ask for on vacation? The hosts also brought me every meal and vitamins too. They even supplied me with ice packs and underwear! I got to chill, lie completely still, and watch an entire Friends marathon on TV. Seriously, this place was so good that they made sure I didn’t even have to get up to use the bathroom during the Friends marathon.

AND, at the end of the three day trip, I got to take home with me an adorable and cuddly souvenir that I got on the very first day. In other equally exciting news that is totally not related, I got a second promotion during our trip and our baby girl arrived into the world too. Imagine that?

In July, my husband, Gwith, traveled far away to an empty plot of land for a special “home building mission”, and selflessly built a one story house (with a loft) BY HIMSELF to help the local kid have a roof over his head. Talk about inspiring, am I right? The small child was so excited to help in the process and even painted part of the house himself. I eventually got the opportunity to do my part for this child too and helped paint the inside of the house.

In October, we threw our son a birthday party that included his very own parade, live Aladdin character actors, including a real Princess Jasmine, and a magical trip to the Cave of Wonders where he found countless jewels, coins, and other treasure. He even got to take a magic carpet ride with Princess Jasmine!

When Halloween rolled around, we played laser tag at a (very) local graveyard and went to an awesome haunted house, that looked mysteriously like the one my husband built during his July mission! It was pretty creepy with the dead bodies, chalk outline, and spider swinging out at the door but we managed to make it through. There was also candy scattered everywhere, so that definitely helped make the experience a pleasant one!

For the holidays, we’ve decided to keep things low key and stay at home…especially with all of the major traveling we did this year! It just seems like a good idea that we independently thought up ourselves with no specific orders from the governor (other than the 3 week quarantine that got put into effect again…)

In the end, 2020 was a fantastic year full of so many new adventures, lots of new faces (okay, just the one!), and experiences that I never could’ve in my wildest dreams imagined.

Now it’s time to take a drink (or 100, whatever you feel comfortable with) and toast to the fact that it’s almost 2021.

Thank fucking god.

Happy New Years everyone!

Tips on How to Write Your Own 2020 Sucked Family Newsletter Full of Half Truths:

• Career details for stay-at-home moms: This is your bragging moment. You were promoted this year and you became a full-on workaholic! Congrats!
• Career details for everyone else: Your boss let you work from home and take some vacation time! Just don’t mention the unpaid part, half pay, or the laid off part…those can be real downers in your letter. If you must mention them, quickly pivot to all of the amazing things you did in your spare time. Changed a lightbulb? Replaced a dishwasher? That’s a remodel right there.
• Vacations: if you wore a bathing suit and put a beach towel on the ground, you took a trip to the beach. Talk about the beautiful sun. The sound of the water…even if it was the hose. Again, leave out the details.
• Parties: Speak about the food, the (car) parades. Nix the details about not actually being near anyone.
• Babies: As per usual for any holiday newsletter, speak only about the birth of the child. Don’t include the sleepless nights, the blowout diapers, etc.
• Kids: Speak about the “adventures” you went on with them (trips to outer space, nature hikes). The activities you did. Don’t mention going crazy and never have a moment of peace and quiet. Also, if you were working from home, do mention your child helping and getting some career days with mom and dad experience!

I hope you found these tips helpful for your own 2020 Holiday Newsletter!