Read Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven
March 18, 2020
What can I say? None of this was ever expected. In my wildest dreams I never imagined beginning my third trimester in this situation. My pregnancy is continuing to go smoothly and our little girl is kicking up a storm every day. Just when I thought I could relax and breath, the Covid 19 coronavirus struck and affected us all.
There is so much uncertainty in the air and it rattles me. How long will we be isolated in our homes? How many places will close? How will all of these people losing their jobs get back on their feet? How long until our 4 year old feels trapped in this house and begs to go out somewhere? How long until I feel absolutely trapped in this house and lose my mind from it?
It’s only been a matter of days and I can already feel myself getting stir crazy. When someone says look at this like a vacation, I can’t help but shake my head. I love my son more than anything but let’s face it, being stuck inside your home 24/7 with a stir crazy preschooler while 28 weeks pregnant is definitely not a vacation. It’s stressful. It’s exhausting. It’s beyond overwhelming.
I’m spending sleepless nights trying to figure out ideas to keep him, and us, entertained. He’s thrilled playing MarioKart on the Wii or ABC Mouse and PBS Games on the computer, but I had spent so long working so hard to break his screen time habits. I feel like everything I’ve done as a parent lately has just gone out the window. But what can I do right now? He can’t play with his friends. He can’t go to school or his favorite activities. He won’t be going to the fun new classes I signed him up for that he was excitedly asking about for weeks. We won’t be going to the local spring festival at the farm he was reminiscing about and begging us to take him back to recently.
I’m sitting here writing this and pictures are flashing on the TV screensaver of our family. Of our son. Playing with friends. Playing at the park. My husband and I. Traveling. Experiencing life. They’re photos of us and yet I feel jealous of those people. Saddened by pictures of these happy memories. I know this will all end sometime but right now, it just seems endless.
At first, I thought maybe this will only last a couple of weeks. Then I read the Coronavirus Covid 19 is predicted to peak in May. Then I read some states are bracing for the possibility of this lasting through July or even August.
From there my mind spirals. Our baby shower was already postponed. Who am I kidding? Cancelled. There’s very little chance we’ll be able to have one now. But even worse, women in some areas are now being told they must go to their doctors appointments alone. Or that when they give birth, no one else is allowed inside with them, except their spouse. Their own kids can’t meet their new sibling now for days. I have a couple of months to hope that this all is over by the time our daughter arrives. But I’m scared. Scared of this magical moment being tainted by our son not being able to meet his sister right away. Scared of my parents not being able to come and see their grandchild and I after the birth. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. This was supposed to be a happy time.
I wasn’t supposed to be sitting here hoping that by the time our baby is born that I can find formula, diapers, and wipes on the shelves again. It’s heartbreaking to me to think that there are non-parents buying baby wipes because they can’t find toilet paper, or formula because they can’t find regular milk. It’s unbelievable how selfish people can be to take from poor helpless babies. I can’t imagine the terror racing through the minds of parents right now searching frantically for the supplies they need that are vital to their babies. I just hold my breath that I won’t be in the same situation a couple of months from now. Part of me wants to order some of these supplies now when they briefly pop-up online, just so I know I have something for our daughter, but the other part of me knows that there are parents with babies already in their arms that need these essential items right this moment.
Maybe it still will all be okay. I’m sure my hormones are making this feel even worse. Maybe by June life will be back to normal. I hope so. I hope it’s back to normal sometime in April. I hope for everyone’s sake that people are smart and stay inside and isolate themselves so the coronavirus Covid 19 can be squashed before it’s made significantly worse and we’re all trapped for even longer. Please everyone, be smart. Stay in and help us all combat this virus so life can go back to normal sooner. Whether you’re low risk or high risk, it doesn’t matter. Staying inside will save lives and stop this virus from spreading like wildfire.
Read Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three | Chapter Four | Chapter Five | Chapter Six | Chapter Seven | Chapter Eight | Chapter Nine | Chapter Ten | Chapter Eleven